I have come to the realization that I'm not living in a dream.. That in fact my Grams has passed away.. What made it finally real and hit me was I seen her obituary  online.. All I could do was cry.. Cry harder than before.. My Grams is gone.. My heart aches, my soul cry's.. All my life she has always been there, near or far, I knew she was there.. She help raise Me and Charla.. She was the only one who actually tried and pushed me to go back to school.. She helped me so much.. But most of all she loved me flaws and all.. I'm one of her "grands" nothing was more important to  my Grams than her family..

I know that ill never be ok with the fact that she's gone and I prolly wont ever accept it, but I have to try
MY REALIZATION
 ..

Grams,
   
      I know your in a better place with no more pain.. I know your looking out for all of us more than ever.. I want you to know that you had blessed my life so much by simply being you.. You showed me love and made me feel love.. People say a Grandmother is a Mom with a second chance.. I believe that, because the nurture, care and love you gave is that, that only a Mother could.. Ever since I was little I always heard people say "home is where your heart is." My home was always with you in Waianae.. Now that your no longer there physically I'm not sure if it's my home anymore.. I know  what you would say right now if you were here "Michelle this is and will always be your home" . But home is where my heart is Grams, and that's with you! So until we meet again Grams, I love you more than any of my words can explain or discribe, and when I'm 'home'  my heart will ache no more..  take care of Max for me :)

Love you always,
Michelle